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CryingDutchess's Journal


CryingDutchess's Journal

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23 entries this month
 

My new friend...

13:24 Nov 26 2008
Times Read: 751


*whispers* There are too many people missing from the office for the holiday weekend. If I anyone figures out I am here, they will come visit and make me pretend to like them. I have to pretend to like a good chunk of my family tomorrow. I must conserve the bullshit.



Me and ebonic-woman (I have doodled sketches of her on my desk calendar; I made her a super-villain) have now come to an understanding. I understand she is a "hood rat" and she understands that I will not stand down if confronted. As a peace offering, I bought us chicken parm heroes for lunch. Wouldn't you know? She has a soft and pink underbelly! I have documented that tidbit of info, in case I must stab the bitch.



I found out the coffee mug thrower was NOT an employee of the company. Nope. Someone's crumb-snatcher of a kid came to the office to fight with their parent! Yep. THIS is why abortion is and must remail legal. Sometimes, you just know when that zygote is growing horns and hooves. (even if a zygote is about the size of a lima bean)



The past week and a half has me wandering in a daze through the office. What the hell kinda company is this place?!? It's like the little BIG Shop of Horrors -- but they never let you see the blood during the interviews. Sneaky sumbitches...



And what is it I am thankful for, this year? I'm just going to say this job and tell a bold face lie.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
13:46 Nov 26 2008

*Looks round*...don't worry I wont tell a soul lol





 

Manic Monday... or, is it Maniacal Monday?

12:56 Nov 24 2008
Times Read: 774


Okay, this just put the "huh?" in my "what the fuck?" for the morning...



I walk into the office. The ebonics lady is being more civil to me... and the princess is clacking away on her keyboard while listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas Carols.



The princess turns around after me being in the office for twenty minutes, "Oh Hiyeeee!!! How was your weeeeekend?" (Yes, she talks in extended vowels. Think that, and nasal...grrr).



From there, someone walks into the ofice (not from my department) and throws their coffee mug against the wall in our department and runs outside.



I'm looking at the mess now. This place is at the corner of Hell and The Twilight Zone. Who the hell is conducting psych evaluations for these chuckleheads? *ponders* Damn, I think that might have been a latte... that sucks.



COMMENTS

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MysticMoon
MysticMoon
15:03 Nov 24 2008

o-0 looks like another fun day in hell * hugs





Sinora
Sinora
20:16 Nov 24 2008

So, what was it that was unusual about your day hon ? Sounds just like one of my normal work days lol.





 

Penis.

20:55 Nov 23 2008
Times Read: 784


Penis. Without one, I cannot join the NFL. I MUST play in the NFL...

*sigh* This is total bullshit.


COMMENTS

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ThePinja
ThePinja
21:26 Nov 23 2008

rugby is more fun, soccer an alternative for tripping can be sneaky and fun.





EmeraldPhoenix
EmeraldPhoenix
23:13 Nov 27 2008

Do not give up hope, my friend! Let you General make a suggestion!!

Many men in the NFL are on Anabolic Steriods and it is well known scientific evidence that if a man does steriods it makes the pee pee shrink. And on the other hand if a woman does steriods it will make her *clears throat* special hood little friend grow. Therefore if you take steriods you will grow your special little friend until it looks like it is a mans little peepee!

Now i'm not sure if this alternative is viable for you...but hell...just wanted you to have some medical information. :)





 

FUCK!!!

17:27 Nov 21 2008
Times Read: 816


FUCK!! I do not like being smart. It is a constant reminder of how fucking stupid most other people tend to be.



I have stared at a shiny bald man for the entire morning and totally zoned out. All the info I was supposed to retain will be gone like the Titanic.

(which is me being stupid, too, I suppose)



THIS DAMNED TEAM!!! I work with the some of the most deserving of beat-downs... I'm sitting here wondering how I would play off tripping someone down a flight of stairs. My sarcasm is now dripping with obnoxiousness -- usually, I make it clear that I am playing. I am NOT playing with these beeeetches!



I realize, people tend to kinda not get close to new people nor upper management until they get a feel for you. However, I am starting to get annoyed with this wannabe Illuminati circle of friendship. Occasionally, I add my two cents (not sarcastic, but just informative) to the faces of slack cows. At this rate, I will be job-hunting pr saving for a bail bond. I am only counting down to the holidays, at this point.



Ugh -- and now to act like I still give a damn on any of this...



Oh and who told these nutters that the only kind of soda we can buy is diet?!?!?! Fucking fascist morons! May you all trip down the same flight stairs like blank dominoes. Blank, because putting any dots on you gives you value and you are frustratingly worthless!!



Thank GOD I can get on here and rant. I would be so screwed otherwise. I have no poker face. My emotions are plain as day on my face (one of my short comings). So, if I did not get this venom out, these guys would know I am plotting to make pipe bombs to stick in their mufflers...



*takes a deep breath and thinks of bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...grrr*


COMMENTS

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Xzavier
Xzavier
17:38 Nov 21 2008

"I do not like being smart." and yet you made a typo "hunting pr saving for" :) I don't know why I did that other than I'm bored.



Entertain me!





CryingDutchess
CryingDutchess
19:34 Nov 21 2008

I still intend to rape Xzavier... that comment only made it so it hurts him more.





 

I hate my office...

13:53 Nov 21 2008
Times Read: 827


These people I work with suck. One is so fluent in ebonics, yet she gets all her work done in one shot and it makes me insane! Speak real English, damn you!!! Another, has such a whiny voice and is such a princess, I plan on killing her myself -- with paperclips!!! I'm gonna unfold two clips and stab her to death!



My boss quit and the "princess" asked if we could order pizza from two different places because SHE doesn't like a particular place. ARE YOU HIGH!!! DIE TEAM! *goes to spike the coffee out of camera range*



I do like the one guy on my team, he talks football with me and when I was upset, he went out of his way to check on me. He also gets my lunch since Im stick in a leg brace. As a result, I feel guilty and hardly ever eat lunch in the office.



The "higher up" execs... Well, all day you hear them betting on any and everything -- six figure salaries to play bookie at the office. Hey, Im on VR! But, shit, I try to make it look like I am engrossed in something regarding the company.



Now, I have this trainer here to show me a new program and I can't stop watching the shine from these horrible lights bounce off his bald head... I like that he curses to himself, though. I almost joined in but refrained. It took effort.



Now? Ugh, Im redy to just spin in my chair until I either vomit or the day comes to an end. Whichever happens first.



SPEAK ENGLIGH!!! Argh! If this bitch "axes" someone one more question, I may have to go "The Shining" on her ass... Let me "axe" her a thing or two...



Bah. Oh, yay -- I didn't realize it was Friday! Bonus! Hmm. Disregard the bitching. I'm cool. (but the Princess is dead meat)


COMMENTS

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Jho
Jho
14:02 Nov 21 2008

I don't get ebonics... Is that even real english... I mean seriously?



Anyway...



Shiny bald lamp head guy sounds almost awesome.





moonkissed
moonkissed
15:27 Nov 21 2008

LOL! grinding the AX...grinding, grinding





Xzavier
Xzavier
16:00 Nov 21 2008

Ebonics is why I did the Klan tryouts, failed but thats why haha :)



Do you know how long it would take to kill a person with paper clips? Stab the bitch in the spleen, it'll bleed out like no other *evil grin*





 

A Seinfeld Moment...

21:12 Nov 20 2008
Times Read: 844


Why is it that everyone is hopping on board the "Hey! I changed my name! Gimme a 10!"

Piss off, if you weren't getting tens before, you shouldn't be forcing them onto people now.



Just a thought...


COMMENTS

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Xzavier
Xzavier
21:45 Nov 20 2008

People that do that really annoy me.





TheSnowQueen
TheSnowQueen
00:54 Nov 27 2008

Dutchy, hmm maybe people change because of all the psycho's on here.





CryingDutchess
CryingDutchess
16:09 Nov 27 2008

LOL! Other than those dodging the Creepy People, yes, of course!





 

Comments-- here today, gone to edit...

18:22 Nov 20 2008
Times Read: 860


And another thing!!! Where the hell do my nifty journal comments go when I edit one typo? Shittlesticks! These comments feed my already over-inflated ego...


COMMENTS

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Xzavier
Xzavier
18:35 Nov 20 2008

They go bye bye bc if you edit an entry you may be changing it all together thus nullifying the point of the original comments :P



Your ego is what tickles my prostate :D





 

Damn YOU!!!

18:19 Nov 20 2008
Times Read: 863


The dumbest shit in the world is an office collection for any form of celebration. We are all broke motherfuckers and you want to get me to scrape together the change at the bottom of my bag so that I am not embarrassed by not being permitted to sign the "CARD" (really a list of those that gave money so one can hate on those that did not).



I always give double or triple and advise them to figure out a way to calculate all the stupid events we a re forced to observe and divide it accordingly. Why is that obnoxious? Take the hundred dollar bill and stfu!! Office politics... brought to you by the people who have no brains.


COMMENTS

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Office Cliques

17:03 Nov 20 2008
Times Read: 874


Ugh, the water cooler bitches! I hate these people with fiery passion! NO! I do NOT give a flying monkey about who did what to whom on what show... and if I already saw the show, why in the holy frijoles of hell would I want to chat it up over a cool and tiny glass of water? Are you twats insane???



That, and if I here once more "Oh, it's a private joke" -- I am going to wet paper towels and chuck them at people's heads! Can't you all just sneak DVDs into the goddamn office, like me?

Bloody hell!


COMMENTS

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ThothLestat
ThothLestat
19:05 Nov 20 2008

here's a better version:





I'm gonna buy you one of these.





 

The End is NIGH!!!!

14:52 Nov 20 2008
Times Read: 886


Well, my supervisor gave notice today. As a result, I am not going to do any work. Nope. Nothing.



I even smoked a cigarette! My first in... hmm... since 1998! And, yeah, first I felt high, and now I am ready to vomit. Cigarettes are poo.



I am happier now that I brought Firefly to work than ever! Tomorrow... I will bring in all my Guy Ritchie Flicks... Monday: Hellboy 1 &2 and Underworld..



I'm also sending out my resume. Fuck it. I only came to this department because of this person. Fuckity fuckinstein... I said there was no God. I was wrong. It just hates me.



Piss, poop, biley doo... Why do all the people I like leave!! *notices my status* Ooo, 95%! How the fuck did that happen?



Diddly doo doo pooper pee pee viscera...



I have Ned Flander's Tourette's. Fuckily doodily! Fuckily doodily!


COMMENTS

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22:06 Nov 19 2008
Times Read: 914


Ever see someone kill their CM without reason? Well, I have my alibi right here....





My complaint about Crying Dutchess

I'm not going to sit here and brainlessly point out Crying Dutchess's flaws -- we all know she has them -- but I am going to say a little about how Crying knows perfectly well that even obdurate fussbudgets are ashamed of being associated with her belligerent reasoning and wild commentaries. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how Crying should clean up her act. There are several logical contradictions in her position on this matter. For example, I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Crying is mongering. We need to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives.



It should be clear by this point that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of abhorrent self-proclaimed arbiters of taste and standards and others in Crying's amen corner are about to marginalize and eventually even outlaw responsible critics of salacious, witless monomaniacs. I have no reason to doubt that story because Crying dreams of a time when she'll be free to strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love. That's the way she's planned it and that's the way it'll happen -- not may happen but will happen -- if we don't interfere, if we don't criticize her complicity in the widespread establishment of resistentialism. She seems incapable of understanding that supercilious, drugged-out oafs often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Crying enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever she threatens to make it virtually impossible to fire incompetent workers. Only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that I recognize the need to think and act strategically as well as tactically. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: What demons possessed her to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that she periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.



What we have been imparting to Crying -- or what she has been eliciting from us -- is a half-submerged, barely intended logic, contaminated by wishes and tendencies we prefer not to acknowledge. She keeps telling everyone within earshot that she can absorb mana by devouring her nemeses' brains. I'm guessing that Crying read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that she attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality characteristics. For example, if you're shy, Crying calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, she says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does Crying say such things? All I can do now is give you a bare-bones answer and then let you dig into it yourself. To understand the basic answer you need to realize that to get even the simplest message into the consciousness of resentful casuists it has to be repeated at least fifty times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following fifty times, but if it weren't for unsophisticated schmucks, Crying would have no friends. As a parting thought, remember that Crying Dutchess's ploys are a spiritual syphilis that has now reached the tertiary stage, paresis and insanity.





Nuts! Chopping block! Cleaver!


COMMENTS

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DrJay
DrJay
22:30 Nov 19 2008

Who say dat!? I'll kill the lil mo'fo :)



Love ya babe!





atyourwindow
atyourwindow
00:08 Nov 20 2008

Photobucket



Jho
Jho
00:10 Nov 20 2008

I dun git it





Oceanne
Oceanne
19:44 Nov 20 2008

huh?





moonkissed
moonkissed
15:33 Nov 21 2008

but i think you're funny.





TheSnowQueen
TheSnowQueen
00:56 Nov 27 2008

Dutchy, Well if you kill your CM won't your sister want to kill you? Just putting that out there.





CryingDutchess
CryingDutchess
16:08 Nov 27 2008

My sis would have my labia on a chopping block, yes.





 

Death before... dishonor or shame??

16:45 Nov 19 2008
Times Read: 925


Another day, another load of bullshit. I swear, I could solve the USA energy crisis with all the stockpiles of shit that I have!



Oh, and would you believe I actually feel bad about putting someone on blast in here? Fuck it, you have to give respect to get it.



I'm wishing for a major change. Things can't going in this direction. I fly to Los Angeles after Thanksgiving. I am so pessimistic, it has made me even funnier during conference calls. What is that all about?



The world finds me funniest when I am ready to jump off the Empire State Building... even now, I'd bet if I listened for it, I would here "JUMP MOTHERFUCKER, JUMP!"



Life sucks when all you do is second guess yourself. If I had a twin, I would make her the basket-case and I would be the one to just "do it".


COMMENTS

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Smile at your dagger in my back...

14:02 Nov 19 2008
Times Read: 931


Where do I begin? If this is a joke that some lesser intelligent people find funny and more intelligent people don't get -- then I am no laughing.



Does my journal resemble a cesspool of crappage that now results in whining and complaints behind my back, but not the bravery to speak to me directly? What could I possibly do? I would listen and either apologize or suggest a multitude of ways to end your existence by your own hand.



My lack of censorship may offend some, entertain others and utterly baffle the remainder of the population. However, I have paid for the right to pick and choose the words and subject I opt to employ in these digital pages.



To find that I am a whispered name in dark corners of contempt... well, I'd say it hurts, because, in a way... it does. However, it's not the complaining. It is the feeling of total... wow, I have no befitting word to insert here...



Well, VR community, if I am nothing more than a venomous wretch, you already know not to soil your computer by visiting my journal. If you have a complaint? Grow up and approach the source. I'm right here. I can keep a civil tongue. Contrary to what, apparent, popular consensus now dictates, I will gladly and openly listen. Anyone else who can't seem to muster the nerve? Quite simply, tough shit don't visit here.


COMMENTS

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Sinora
Sinora
15:27 Nov 19 2008

My lappy would never speak to me again if I did'nt visit your journal...oh and I think the word your looking for is ******** ...*hugs*.





Oceanne
Oceanne
17:48 Nov 19 2008

Mine either.





 

Fecal Matters

20:36 Nov 18 2008
Times Read: 961


Oh dear, Chuck. Dear, fucked up, Chuck. Why not just leave me be? I don't pay you visits. I don't attempt to hook up while the "kat" is away with your kitten. I have shown respect to my own detriment.



Well, this is you on blast: You second rate, third world, flat-footed fool of a wannabe musician! You dropped the ball, fell on it and ruptured your intestines -- because the shit you spewed earlier was just plain ridiculous! What? The brain capacity for women on your little island only equates to a 6 year old? Could you possibly think that I, of all people, would daintily sit amongst your shit? So very wrong. So very very wrong.



You had an opportunity to keep things nice and civil. You blew it. I mean you went Hiroshima all over it! You are just a melted skeleton to me. So you realize how many people think you are this asshole that I defended you not to be? So much for me and charity work.



Since we're being "honest", you pussy -- your music? Is monotonous, predictable and on level with an amateur with one finger. When I shopped some of your music for you, I got such blank stares that I had to be thankful the people were half-drunk. Bringing sophomoric euro-trashy copy cats of NIN... LOL! Hey, but I am a woman of her word. I said I would push for you. Oh, and you know what? I did get someone to greenlight one song for their movie score. You wouldn;t know that because you are too busy trying to fuck me and everyone else since the two pussies at home belong to a cat and the other to a woman so miserable my heart aches for her.



You even lied about her!! If she knew? She would probably gain the courage to make herself happy and run the hell away from you -- Marquis de Motherfucker...



Am I innocent here? Nope. I am not. And I hate myself for that. But, unlike you, I am unafraid to own up to anything I have done. You? You silly idiot? You hide like Sadaam Hussein and hope no one finds your glory hole until you opt to pop up like a groundhog. Well, I treat groundhogs like roadkill you weak minded jerk!



This all could have been handled so simply. I keep things nice and simple. You? I am amazed you remember to wipe your arse. I pray to no particular god that you stub your toe and break the bitch, that there is a hearse riot and you bitchy cops can't get to your gear, that a tidal wave mysteriously takes out your apartment only. And while floating out into the ocean? I hope you catch a cramp in your groin (befitting) and just glug, glug, glug to feed the fishes!



We clear? Stay your mind-game ass on your side of the world. I only let men -- REAL men into my life. And honey, you are no man. Your one year old is... but you? Bloody hell, hope he gets a role model worth looking up to. Otherwise, he will be a man picking up chicks online and knocking them up... just like his special daddy.



Remember, my words can and will leave you raped anally and left sniveling in a corner for the rest of your days. And I know you are feeling the sting now -- especially since I have no loyalty to you to keep your identity under wraps. Fuck you, be a man and fend for yourself.


COMMENTS

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DeathsEmbrace
DeathsEmbrace
21:05 Nov 18 2008

hahaha wow i dunno who you're writting about, but they sound more fucking morinic then any 3 cent whore that comes with a refund. Marquis de Motherfucker? hahahaha! fucking brilliant! man whoever this is you speak of.... wow they are a fucking wanker and a half! and as a musician myself, whoever you're speakeing of, holy fuck you degreaded them to complete liquid shits, i mean explosive liquid shits!



This sounds like a real mess and from what i gather, sounds like some jackass needs a castration, by battle axe! lol, dummkopf..... bah!



so and even more so in my adding something, oes this person even have any self dignity? respect? morals, a brain? sure as fuck doesnt sound like it at all hahahaha i mean damn, i mean their 1 year old is more a man? i'd go shoot myself in the dick, then chop my head off!



from what it sounds, i bet a kid would have more balls then this scumback. are you talking about a commie or something? nah wait.... commies arent even that bad.... well.... maybe jhahahaha





captainglobehead
captainglobehead
21:29 Nov 18 2008

Holy shit, that was great! If someone ever pisses me off that badly, would you write the letter for me? God, you're good!





Jho
Jho
23:58 Nov 18 2008

@_@



I didn't do it





LaathSweiReborn
LaathSweiReborn
00:47 Nov 19 2008

Great writing but a wast on someone who deserves no attention or regard unless they are a threat. hope all is well love.





Oceanne
Oceanne
17:52 Nov 19 2008

A melted skeleton? Sounds like you turned the bastard to glass if you ask me.His Hiroshima aint got nothing on your nukes bebe.





KeeperOfSecrets
KeeperOfSecrets
23:02 Nov 19 2008

Cracks her knuckles and begins to type.

Yes I do know exactly who she is talking about, she is my sister and and to have heard all sides and I mean ALL Side's of this and watching in complete udder disbelief at the things that are said and being able to read between the lines of what the truth is really. What kind of idiot and i mean idiot in the most rude and belittling way ! I have sat back and watched and read the things that have been said. I have read daily in horror of the lack of respect you show to your own.

I have sat and even consoled them. And in my mind seeing you dragged behind a fast moving semi being dragged threw a mine field with jagged glass.And as each one goes off the shrapnel lodges into you.





You are such a low life degrading piece of shit you really are. And to think of all this high respect that you so think that you deserve. You lack thew ability to even request such a thing. What type of MONSTER treats people like the way you have treated them. I am glad that they are in a better place and I hope that you live a lonely miserable life.



My simplest repsonce to you woyuld sinly be this:



Dear Dumbass,



I just wanted to let you know that you are completely fucked up. If you had any balls you would be dangerous. I have had shock therapy to try to forget your existence because you have manipulated me one too many times. I have often looked the other way, which makes me another one of your victims.



This time you have burned all your bridges.



I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are the stupidest human being on the face of this planet. You would be so much better off if you would just lay off of the self indulgence. You must be the product of inbreeding. You are a MONSTER! It is time for you to get a new psychiatrist, preferably one that actually graduated. Let this also serve as notice that all future communication between us has been canceled as I would rather claw out my eyes than read what you have to say !



Piss off you waste of space,



Ok that is just my two cents, CD you deserve to be treated so much better, you are one of my closets and dearest friends. And you know how I feel about this waste of space that this idiot is.





 

What can I do for you?

13:21 Nov 17 2008
Times Read: 970


Well, I let you make a total moron outof me... free of charge. Now? You come nibbling around to see what's going on with me? Come on, man... What do you want from me? Speak up? I'm not going through all this emotional amusement park bullshit with you again. Save it for a some idiot girl that can't get past your smile. Me? I've long since noticed that your filed yout teeth down to sharp points to devour your prey, and you know what? You don't seem to understand, I am not one of your beta-bitches.



So, spit it out! Don't come to me talking about "don't kill you". If you were to be dead, you would you find yourself six feet under already.



*laughs to myself* "Cross your heart and hope to die it's love...."


COMMENTS

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But...it's mine!!!

06:08 Nov 16 2008
Times Read: 988


*wide little girl eyes* Please! No more! You are merciless on me and I can't fight you much longer -- you are too strong. You phone bills, electric bills, gas bills, groceries, incidentals (a car of mine has certain "issues" with me at the moment; quite expensive issues.



So, I giggle as I lok at my check this pat period and I am only becoming more hysterical as I look at it -- breaking my leg has cost me thousands of dollars in paychecks. Fuck! I don;t even have a cool scar to show for it! It's total bullshit. I can only say that i am thrilled that I was not a casualty of the first historical layoff at my company. It's still privately owned, so it did come as a shock... *shrug* I'm like a cat with nine lives, I have never managed not to bounce back in time... If I could only learn patience...



Sometimes, I think I could use a good and oppressively hard coach to just take me by the scruff and make me shut the fuck up and do my thing. I hate to admit, I do require that kind of personality on occasion.



Where in the hell did the curve in the bend appear for this tangent?


COMMENTS

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No more Plan B...

21:06 Nov 13 2008
Times Read: 1,036


From happy to kinda sad in sixty...

Just spoke with my ex, who has been in my life since I was 15 and still is a close friend... He has a girlfriend now (for three whole months, whichis a world record for him since we broke up). For over a decade, he couldn't bring himself to even tolerate someone that wasn't me. I hope the fucking skank dies. LOL! Okay, Im done being a bitch. I hope he's happy... but I still hope the skank catches the clap and leaves the country.


COMMENTS

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atyourwindow
atyourwindow
21:52 Nov 13 2008

at least you still have harley and chris hehe





XxLadyDarkRaynexX
XxLadyDarkRaynexX
21:59 Nov 13 2008

aww sis I was the same way about that when my ex started dating back years ago. but oh well, she can deal with him, better her then me any day !





Sinora
Sinora
22:06 Nov 13 2008

I love the fact that your not even a tiny bit bitter or anything like that....lmao





Oceanne
Oceanne
18:44 Nov 14 2008

O_O





 

Boobage = gimme a feel!

15:47 Nov 13 2008
Times Read: 1,050


I'm a flirt. No denying that. However, I will not cross the line where I play with emotions. I won't lead anyone down any paths of illusion. It's not my style.



So, explain why being nice when annoyingly being bitten or responding politely to a compliment becomes an open invitation to express your naughtiest of naughty wet dreams to me? Did I ask? Doubt it.



Telling me you would play bongos on my breasts while eating a turkey sandwich and trying to get me to go for a reach around... spare me. Please. Just choke on the fucking sandwich while jerking yourself off and you can pretend you are into erotic asphyxiation (whatever the proper term is.. and there are those of you who know EXACTLY what it is *raises eyebrow*).



So, let's work this through together -- like an intervention. Yes, I am friendly. Yes, I am approachable and always glad to meet people.

NO! No bongo playing on the breasts, no hot sex on a platter, no webcam digi-sex, no me pleasuring myself to the words of the Matrix.



Oh, and chances are, if I ever engage in sexual verbal banter with you... I have it copied and pasted somewhere just waiting to be posted for the amusement of others. I don't embarrass easily, especially if the end result is high-level hilarity!



Remember, folks! I am a blogger now -- you may find your "aslkjadsdklajsfjdhfweu" digital orgasms on more sites than just VR!



Have a nice day, and thank you for liking my body parts... The whole, by the way, exceeds the parts (for those still choking on their drool).



Sincerely,

My Breasts.


COMMENTS

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Oceanne
Oceanne
18:46 Nov 14 2008

Hah! oh so VERY true!

Now where are those blog things your talkin about? ;)





Jho
Jho
22:36 Nov 15 2008

I giggle'd



I like reading your journal





xxEmaeraldxx
xxEmaeraldxx
17:25 Nov 19 2008

Heh, it is fun flirting ;)





 

Say What?

15:32 Nov 13 2008
Times Read: 1,051


When it rains, it pours! When it pours, I suggest filling up your glasses because you never know when good things will come pissing down on you again! Ah, such a way with words, have I!



Not only have I been courted to possibly write for a new series, I also rec'd a phone call from my old agent asking if I still wanted to shop a particular manuscript I'd written (like a million years ago...), because during a random conversation with some director (whom I have never met, but knew me?) asked how I was and the subject of that manuscript was brought up -- and wouldn't ya know? It was exactly the kind of story he was looking for. The budget is secure, the studio is uber solid and I am so giddy that I can't remember how not to write a run on sentence! *comes up for air*



I've had a manuscript picked up before and it ended up in "the vault" (where scripts go to collect dust and not be produced until eons later, if at all). Still, to hear that I still spark an insterest to others in the one thing I love is beyond priceless! It's like being reborn with hope! I've always said I am nothing, if not a writer. It's enever had to do with the money (which is always nice), rather, it is an innate need to constantly get my overactive mind on paper. I just get a kick out of it when someone else appreciates it... One helluva kick!



Tonight, I have to go into my archives and pull a couple of pieces of work and re-work them. I cannot wait! Even if it all turns to nothing. I've been looking for this kind of happy for a while -- it's nice to be such after such a long winter of disappointment.


COMMENTS

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Joli
Joli
20:08 Nov 13 2008

Congratulations and all my digits are crossed for you!





 

Screaming my own name... and dancing, too!

17:22 Nov 12 2008
Times Read: 1,057


I'm in a hyper-good mood. This means, I should be wathing the sky for falling airplanes and shit. I am taking a "breather" at the office. I figure if the smokers can run outside a billion times, then I can come by here for a mo'... to hell withyou -- I rationalize in whatever way that gives me the upperhand.



I miss hanging out. I REALLY want to go dancing. I have been dancing in my chair with my iPod all day (yep, I am not drawing any attention).



Oh, and this whole lack of sex thing is starting to make me wonder if a woman can develop a callous on her clitoris from too much rubbing? I mean, not that I have been rubbing, but if I wanted to start an Olympic event to occupy my weekend, I would like to know.



Meanwhile, Chris has his body so damned chiseled that he is beyond edible! Unfortunately, between teaching high school and college, we only see each other when we are too zombified to have a good old fashioned boink fest. No, it would more than likely appear to be two geriatrics getting in their last hoorah before they get twin beds...



Grrrr!!!! Send sex, NOW!


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Xzavier
Xzavier
18:35 Nov 12 2008

You made me think of a crusty bean you sick perv! lmao





 

A Moment of Potential

02:01 Nov 06 2008
Times Read: 1,071


I have had family murdered for the color of their skin. My grandmother is still alive (almost 88) and grew up in the South. I have faced prejudice from the most ignorant of people. I have been told I wouldn't get far because of the color of my skin and my gender.



For me, my heritage, African-American history and all the battles fought and lost in the face of racism, last night's election left me overjoyed! At first, I had no emotion. When I got home and happened to see a clip of Martin Luther King Jr. I could no longer contain my emotion -- I cried until I was dehydrated.



Did I vote based on skin color? No. That is ignorance and a reverse of the racism I have been exposed to in life. I voted for who I felt to have the best potential.



I have grinned and swallowed all the shit comments made about Obama. Especially, the ones coming from places of total ignorance.

Well, no more! I will NOT stand down, I will NOT turn my cheek -- I WILL stare you in the eye with venomous contempt for flippant comments that are unfounded.



Does anyone realize how brilliant this man is? Top of his class at Harvard, taught constitutional law, ambition based on capability and not suckling the many financiers for a quid pro quo of favor exchange for power.



I have nothing but respect for McCain. He earned it. However, I see no reason why his track record of decision making would move me to put him into office. In addition, I do not hold any feelings toward Palin. I would not want her for a President. If I have a Harvard grad with Obama's record or a person who claims to see the North Pole and Russia from her backyard, then I am going with the person who, at the very least, doesn't hallucinate.



This is election has given hope to many of us that lost faith. It has given a renewed sense of self-worth, a reason to bury petty differences and shows the world we are no longer a country solely represented by stuffy white sons of former slave owners. The chickens have come home to roost. This stolen country was built on my ancestors backs; on YOUR ancestors backs! Mine, however, were just property. In less than a century, look where we have come!



I would die for my country; for my countrymen -- despite the ignorance that is blatant in my daily life. I believe in change. I see change coming and I am thankful, ready and willing to do my part and then some.



So, for those of you moaning about a president simply based on race -- and let's be real about this. It really is. Those that say that is not the reason are lying their asses off. Unless you can give me valid rationale, I will not believe it is otherwise. I have no reason to believe you.



Times are changing. What are you prepared to do? Complain or pitch in?



I am proud to have voted for Obama! I am proud my grandmother has lived to see a change in a society that has beaten her, shunned her and told her she was always less than. I am proud of being American now more than ever!


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Ground Zero

16:53 Nov 05 2008
Times Read: 1,085


It's funny how much a little contact can take you. I woke up in another panic attack today. I know it's only due to the Vicodins I had to take last week. Nonetheless, the setback has me thinking about ways to just pack it in permanently. It's all part of the chemical imbalance. Still, it feels like I am ready to just do the unspeakable. Will I? Of course not! I am too masochistic.

I'm in my favorite recliner and Pixie is all curled up with me in my blanket. She is so cute and loving. I look at her face and think of any and everyone in my life that I love and who loves me. I may be in a momentous amount of pain at the moment. I may be thinking of ways to deform and torture myself. I may be plotting and planning all the many ways I could leave this planet and cause the least amount of heartache for those in my life. Truth is, I am tired. I am ready to move on and I am tired looking for excuses to stick.

Meanwhile, this little cat that follows me from room to room simply because she wants to be near me... little booger -- you cute little fur ball. My spunky little reminder to keep fighting.


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Oceanne
Oceanne
17:10 Nov 05 2008

Awwww.





Sinora
Sinora
17:29 Nov 05 2008

.....or maybe you smell of fish ? No I don't think so, I think she just likes you coz your you.





 

The Mystery of 58 ~~ AGAIN!

18:43 Nov 04 2008
Times Read: 1,094


Who are you number 58?? You befriend me like a rapist in an elevator and then remove me from your friend list like a used condom.



One day, Im on 58 friends lists... the next 57... the truth? I only have a handful of actual friends here. Damned 58. You are the age of hot flashes and menopausal chaos -- leave me be!!


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captainglobehead
captainglobehead
18:47 Nov 04 2008

I plan to add you and remove you from my list on alternating days, just to see if you notice.





Oceanne
Oceanne
02:45 Nov 05 2008

Oh captain,you're a villian!

I love it.








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